i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
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the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
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I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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