I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
