We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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