just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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