I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
