My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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