That's intense
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
