she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
someone owes me an orgasm
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize