dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
