I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
