I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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