Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
