I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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