my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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