You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dick very happy bro
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
