hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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