try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the day after is always just damage control
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.