i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We left an ass print on the piano.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.