My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I am spending my child support on dildos
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he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
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I love how my cats smell like pot.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities