my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
