Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.