Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
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