Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Little spoons don't ask big questions
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Randomize
