States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
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you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
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All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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