She went from zero to smokin in five shots
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
