Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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