This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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