ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
