i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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