Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
