it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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