the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
