I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
