What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found the puke drawer
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
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I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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