You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
