so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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