The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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