Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
