So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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