Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
