No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The beer is more important than you right now.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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