I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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