good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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