She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize