I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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