I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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