At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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