Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
