So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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