Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I am puke
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
