on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
