I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Why are your pants in the freezer?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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