I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
