you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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