My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
