omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
