I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
