Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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