ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize