thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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