There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
be right there i have to get my cape
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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