ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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