You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I CAN MOONWALK!
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
you made out with another girl for some wings
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
