It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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